Scattered Thoughts, Healthier Steps, and the Thorn-Crowned Screensaver

Woke up at 4:00 AM again. This has been happening a lot lately, just starting devotions an hour earlier than standard even on Sundays, trying to remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. (Maybe I'll switch to Saturdays, the actual Sabbath, down the road). Honestly, the Isaiah readings lately are heavy. They feel so destructive and Old Testament—death and destruction coming to the earth. These verses don't always set a lot of hope in my soul right now.

My mind is pretty scatter-brained today. Usually is. But I'm looking forward to church this morning, seeing what the Lord has for us.

S - Scripture

Proverbs 16:9 (NIV): "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps."

O - Observation

I have so many scattered thoughts running through my mind. It's hard to make sense of Isaiah right now. But looking at the oral reflections from this morning, I see this verse perfectly anchored in my life.

I am full of plans. I'm up at 4:00 AM excited about "Restaurant Revival," a new marketing plan to bring back wealth to restaurants. I am planning how to observe the Sabbath. I'm preparing for upcoming appointments with a GP and a neurologist.

But when I look back at my recent trip to Lynchburg for the Orange Out, I see God establishing steps that were never part of my "course." Seeing LCA shut out Glenvar 47-0 was great, seeing that sea of orange. But breakfast with Terry, Cash's close friend, was a divine step. Terry told me how 12-year-old Terry used to tell me that manifesting was not right, and to fear the Lord, when I was completely stuck in my sorcery and metaphysical quest for knowledge that I thought was from God. God used Terry's steps to intervene in my course.

My physical plans are working, too. Blood work looks good. GP appointment today. Testosterone is fine. Everything else has returned to pre-2020 levels, which is encouraging now that I've stopped partying and drinking, and am resting in the Lord. I'm also seeing a neurologist; this crick in my neck since May is a constant, physical reminder from God that health is from Him, and a mandate to keep humble in front of Him.

But the ultimate established step came as a complete surprise as I was showering at 5:00 AM, getting ready to leave for that Lynchburg flight. It just hit me what to do this year for the anniversary of Cash's murder, September 30th. We'll ask people to post fond memories of Cash, sure. But we are going to ask everyone to download a specific screenshot to use as their screensaver: the crucifixion scene of Jesus with thorns around His head. (Shannon thought it was a good idea, too).

When we finally got Cash's stuff back from the police—wrapped up like meat—and found his phone, the very first thing we saw when we turned it on was that picture of Christ. I never planned to make an anniversary memorial about screensavers. But that was the image Cash looked at, and this year, we are going to honor God and live like Cash with a screensaver that reminds us that Christ died for us.

A - Application

I plan so many courses: business marketing, health plans, travel. I need to accept that I will probably always be a little scatter-brained with ideas. However, I must allow the scatter-brain to submit to the obedience. God gives me the 4:00 AM wake-ups. The goal isn't just to be "self-sufficient," but to fear and love the Lord, just as Terry tried to teach me. I must move forward with the established step for the September 30th memorial, not just "plan" it, but execute it to honor God and remind the sea of orange that Christ died for us. I will use the neck crick as my physical anchor to stay humble.

P - Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank You that my course is not fixed by my own scattered thoughts. Thank You that even when I find the reading in Isaiah heavy, I can trust that You are guarding the vineyard night and day, and that You water it continually. I thank You for the successful trip to Lynchburg and for Terry's faithfulness in the past. Thank You for breaking the chains of sorcery and manifesting in my life. Thank You for physical health results that are returning, and for the neck crick that keeps me grounded and humble. Submit my scatter-brain to You. Thank You for the established step for September 30th. Bless Church today. Anchor us in the knowledge that Christ died for us. In Jesus' name, Amen.