The Viper's Bite, the Pit of Lust, and the Grace of a Third Try

I have never really been someone who wanted to drink. I don't like the taste of it. Whether it is the most expensive wine on the menu or the cheapest liquor at the bar, it always just gives me headaches. For years, I only did it socially. But I have completely stopped drinking now—not because I was personally addicted to the alcohol itself, but because of the absolute destruction it brought into my life through the people I was with.

Since my first divorce, (My first wife did not drink) I've had five meaningful relationships, and I write about this clearly in the upcoming book as a warning to men who intend on leaving the wife of their youth. Looking back, it is terrifying to see how alcohol acted as an active destroyer in almost every single one of them.

The first was a drunkard whose chaos landed me in jail for a crime I didn't commit. I will never forget sitting in a cell on my own birthday, desperately trying to get home for Cash's birthday. By the grace of God, video evidence cleared my name and proved she perjured herself, but I still have to carry the weight of an arrest record.

The second was a cheater. She was driven by money, drinking heavily, and cheating on me the entire time with a man older than me. I look back and feel like such a fool for ever thinking that relationship could work. The result led me into the first-ever darkness of depression for six months, and instead of turning to God, I turned to metaphysics and manifesting, which worked temporarily.

The third was my second wife. The darkness in that relationship culminated in a Dubai hotel room where she literally tried to murder me with a high heel.

The fourth struggled with bipolar disorder, which I found out after the fact.

It was a continuous cycle of meeting women who had made alcohol their god, each trapped in their own different emotional pits. But as I reflect on this today, I cannot cast stones. I am not judging them, because the truth is, I was sitting in my own deep pit of lust. I might as well have been drinking every single day with the way I was acting. My own flesh was just as destructive.

But God is so incredibly merciful. He protects us from the pit even when we don't deserve it.

When I met Ceara the 2nd time, I was deeply attracted to her because she had fought and conquered this exact disease. Going through AA, she did the unimaginably hard work of getting sober. After everything I had been through, I just wanted someone who would choose me over a bottle.

Today's reading in Proverbs hit the nail on the head regarding the reality of alcohol, and it perfectly reflects this journey. As I sit here, embarrassingly looking forward to my third wedding, I am also profoundly humbled. It took me three times to figure out what true love, biblical marriage, and actual commitment look like.

I was never married in a church. Getting married outside by a lake (Which was God-honoring), and running off to elope in Vegas is not a God-honoring ceremony. But we are going to get it right this time. Ceara and I are keeping ourselves holy, maintaining strict boundaries, and starting this covenant the exact way God intended.